The master's program I am attending is all internet-based. I've met two of my professors for this semester one time and one not at all. It has been the most challenging and frustrating school experience I've ever had, but has also been immensely gratifying.
Challenging because the burden is entirely upon me as a student. I have to keep up with due dates, figure out when I'll have time to complete assignments, and put as much work into each assignment as I'm prepared to live with comfortably. No shining examples of good work exist for comparison, and I receive very little feedback from my professors on my work. I have to be comfortable with my own work, often without any feedback of the 'right' answer. The gratifying part of that is coming to a realization that I can be comfortable with my own work, and I can reach a point where I am happy to put my name on it, call it finished, and hand it in.
That's also where frustrating has come in. Anyone who knows me well could tell you that I am not satisfied with being a 'Type A' personality; I'm really more of an A+. The lack of feedback and direct instruction has been frustrating, because I rarely receive the external stamp of approval for a job well done.
My level of frustration with that fact has led me to an uncomfortable realization - why does it matter so much to me? I'm realizing that I can be too dependent on others' opinions of me and my work as a validation.
The question really is, if I am truly free in Christ, can I also be a slave to insecurity? I think the answer is no. Beth Moore has written a book on insecurity that has just been published. I'm so excited to see what God has led her to say on this topic, because I think it's so important. As I get closer to 40, it's been so interesting to see where God has shown me growth along with areas for improvement. I'm hoping this is an area I can look back on in a year or two and see lots of growth!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Winter That Actually Showed Up . . .
Or, what global warming? After almost ten years of living in Tennessee, we've had a real winter this year. We've seen more snow so far this year than all the other nine years put together. The boys are even a bit tired of it, and I've had to drive in it, which is a real stretch for this lifelong Southerner. I just don't know if I could live any further north without ending up with winter depression, though - we saw the sun yesterday, and my mood was noticeably better than it has been in a while.
However, as I look out my window and watch a cardinal and a blue jay hopping around the yard, 'our' herd of deer feeding on the grass, or see a rabbit crashing through the underbrush, all of which I've enjoyed this week, I'm reminded that seasons are necessary. Without the cold of winter, would I really appreciate spring? Without the dormant season, bleak and harsh with cold, would the lush green of summer be as beautiful? Without the times when God seems far away (or in truth, when I've wandered away from Him), would I appreciate His provision? Because He always provides, even as He does for His creatures I've watched today. Thinking about these things led me to these verses . . .
Luke 12:25-32 (New American Standard Bible)
25"And which of you by worrying can add a single [a](A)hour to his [b]life's span?
26"If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?
27"Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even (B)Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
28"But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? (C)You men of little faith!
29"And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not (D)keep worrying.
30"For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.
31"But seek His kingdom, and (E)these things will be added to you.
32"(F)Do not be afraid, (G)little flock, for (H)your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.
However, as I look out my window and watch a cardinal and a blue jay hopping around the yard, 'our' herd of deer feeding on the grass, or see a rabbit crashing through the underbrush, all of which I've enjoyed this week, I'm reminded that seasons are necessary. Without the cold of winter, would I really appreciate spring? Without the dormant season, bleak and harsh with cold, would the lush green of summer be as beautiful? Without the times when God seems far away (or in truth, when I've wandered away from Him), would I appreciate His provision? Because He always provides, even as He does for His creatures I've watched today. Thinking about these things led me to these verses . . .
Luke 12:25-32 (New American Standard Bible)
25"And which of you by worrying can add a single [a](A)hour to his [b]life's span?
26"If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?
27"Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even (B)Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
28"But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? (C)You men of little faith!
29"And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not (D)keep worrying.
30"For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.
31"But seek His kingdom, and (E)these things will be added to you.
32"(F)Do not be afraid, (G)little flock, for (H)your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Where did I put that peace?
Peace can be so fleeting. One minute the house is quiet, and I can hear myself think, perhaps even study a bit, and the next, the boys are fighting (oh, I'm sorry, loudly discussing) upstairs or I've thought of something I want to look up on the internet or my phone rings or (oh! loook! shiny!) and I'm distracted again.
I constantly struggle with focusing on right now. It seems I'm always looking down the road, planning, anticipating hurdles, trying to smooth the path, worrying about what's coming up next, and tripping over my own two feet in the process. I think I miss a lot along the way.
This problem would seem to be easily answered, but I've struggled with it for years. How do I just enjoy the moment? Become content with now?
Perhaps contentment is what I'm really missing. In planning, worrying, and focusing on the future, maybe I'm really trying to change things, because I'm discontented with them. I'm one of those weird people who is energized by change, so maybe I'm always looking for it, instead of learning to wait upon the Lord and His timing.
So today, instead of indulging that impulse, my prayer is for contentment - living at peace with right now, appreciating the gift of today. Reminding myself that it is a gift, and that is enough.
I constantly struggle with focusing on right now. It seems I'm always looking down the road, planning, anticipating hurdles, trying to smooth the path, worrying about what's coming up next, and tripping over my own two feet in the process. I think I miss a lot along the way.
This problem would seem to be easily answered, but I've struggled with it for years. How do I just enjoy the moment? Become content with now?
Perhaps contentment is what I'm really missing. In planning, worrying, and focusing on the future, maybe I'm really trying to change things, because I'm discontented with them. I'm one of those weird people who is energized by change, so maybe I'm always looking for it, instead of learning to wait upon the Lord and His timing.
So today, instead of indulging that impulse, my prayer is for contentment - living at peace with right now, appreciating the gift of today. Reminding myself that it is a gift, and that is enough.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Did I grumble about being a SAHM? I was crazy!
I have a new appreciation for being at home full-time. I worked full time for a year, and it seemed I never had time for anything. I was gone from the house for almost 12 hours a day. Birthdays were a huge hassle requiring efforts in minimizing fuss, and food was fast, processed and not necessarily healthy. Errands were squeezed in after work or took up precious weekend time. Sick days or doctor and dentist visits were a question of "who did it last time?" or "who has more sick leave?" Childcare was a nightmare this summer, patched together pieces of vacation time, kind friends, even kinder relations, and a ridiculously expensive option provided by our employer. Our younger son also struggled in school last year, and I think me working was part of it. My hat is off to anyone who manages this all the time.
Most of all, however, Christmas was one more thing to check off of a list. I hated it. Anything I decorated would just have to be taken down again, and I had a horrible attitude about it. I don't remember one present I was excited about giving last year, and I am usually big on matching the perfect gift to the recipient. I did a lot of getting through it. This year, even with school, the pace is slower and we planned ahead of time what we wanted to do. We're finished shopping, and the gifts are wrapped and under the tree. I've started cooking and freezing appetizers for our Christmas Eve finger food feast. Maybe it's the closet control freak in me, but it feels so much more peaceful. The boys are happier, and so are the rest of us.
I am reflecting on what Christmas really means this year, and for me, it's this: peace. Before Jesus, it's impossible to know real, lasting peace, because carrying around a lifetime's worth of sin is such a heavy burden. Knowing Jesus, appreciating His birth and sacrifice for me, lifts that burden and replaces it with a peace, with God and with those around me. This year, forgiveness is the Christmas gift for which I'm most thankful, and I hope you have found it, too.
Most of all, however, Christmas was one more thing to check off of a list. I hated it. Anything I decorated would just have to be taken down again, and I had a horrible attitude about it. I don't remember one present I was excited about giving last year, and I am usually big on matching the perfect gift to the recipient. I did a lot of getting through it. This year, even with school, the pace is slower and we planned ahead of time what we wanted to do. We're finished shopping, and the gifts are wrapped and under the tree. I've started cooking and freezing appetizers for our Christmas Eve finger food feast. Maybe it's the closet control freak in me, but it feels so much more peaceful. The boys are happier, and so are the rest of us.
I am reflecting on what Christmas really means this year, and for me, it's this: peace. Before Jesus, it's impossible to know real, lasting peace, because carrying around a lifetime's worth of sin is such a heavy burden. Knowing Jesus, appreciating His birth and sacrifice for me, lifts that burden and replaces it with a peace, with God and with those around me. This year, forgiveness is the Christmas gift for which I'm most thankful, and I hope you have found it, too.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I think I'm getting too old for studying
Is there a time limit on brain capacity? Seriously? I'm taking my first standardized teaching test on Saturday, and it's amazing how hard it is anymore to stuff new information into my brain. I believe it's due to an overabundance of song lyrics and other worthless trivia accumulated in my misspent youth. No, really - I'm a great team member for trivial pursuit, but maybe not so much if you want someone to remember educational theory.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Merry Christmas to all!
Oh Rest Ye Weary Mommies, Let Nothing You Dismay,
It isn't long before it will be dawn on Christmas Day,
So finish all your Christmas cards,
Lest they should go astray,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time,
Presents and Time,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time.
God Rest Ye Merry Daddies, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember all those toys must be together by Christmas Day,
To save us all from crying boys,
Lest the instructions lead us astray,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools,
Nuts, Bolts and Tools,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools.
God Rest Ye Merry Families, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember in spite of all the parties, pageants and holiday
Goodies and presents,
It's not about the 'perfect holiday',
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all,
born for all,
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all.
In hopes that all families have time to reflect on the true meaning of the season and that night in Bethlehem when angels, shepherds and a new family worshipped God's son, Merry Christas!
It isn't long before it will be dawn on Christmas Day,
So finish all your Christmas cards,
Lest they should go astray,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time,
Presents and Time,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time.
God Rest Ye Merry Daddies, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember all those toys must be together by Christmas Day,
To save us all from crying boys,
Lest the instructions lead us astray,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools,
Nuts, Bolts and Tools,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools.
God Rest Ye Merry Families, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember in spite of all the parties, pageants and holiday
Goodies and presents,
It's not about the 'perfect holiday',
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all,
born for all,
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all.
In hopes that all families have time to reflect on the true meaning of the season and that night in Bethlehem when angels, shepherds and a new family worshipped God's son, Merry Christas!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Has It Been a Month? Really?
The job is great. Challenging, but pretty undemanding in terms of deadlines, overtime and such. The schedule, however, is taking some heavy adjustment. I'm getting up at 5:30 every morning, otherwise referred to around our house as dark-thirty, because really? I'm so not a morning person. I have always thought that a 3-11 shift would be about right for me. When I was a teenager, I used to be merciless in making fun of my mom because she was ready for bed every night around 8:30. Now? That is so me. However, the after school care has worked out in a way that's a real blessing, the Hawkeye and I have been able to work out a schedule that has the boys leaving about 7 and getting home about 5, and otherwise the whole thing has been pretty painless. We have our first real test tomorrow - Little Brother has the makings of strep and a 102 degree temperature, and Hawkeye will be taking his first sick day for one of the boys and making his first sick appointment with the pediatrician ever in the morning. I think it's good for him! I do, however, hope Little Brother feels better soon. He is the most pitiful sick kid you ever saw.
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Job Is Secure. The Employee, However, Is Not.
You might have guessed from the title that I have found a job. Apparently, however, this is a new excuse for internal hand-wringing about how I'm going to manage household stuff, how the boys are going to handle the change, and what time I'll need to get up in the morning. I start the new job this week, and already the inner control freak that jumps in with both feet whenever I feel insecure is practically doing trampoline tricks. The boys are excited. The Hawkeye is excited. I am, too - but ten years without full-time employment is a long time, and I'm unsure. So, today, I am looking for serenity. Hopefully, I'll find it before I break an arm on the trampoline! ;-)
Feeling Thankful and Thoughtful
The boys and I had a picnic this week with another lovely family, a mom with two boys (unrelated note to our school system: the early dismissal days in the middle of the week are the dumbest of a long line of dumb ideas that anyone has ever generated. End of rant). The mom helped with Big Boy's den during day camp, and her son and Big Boy really enjoyed each other's company. This other family homeschools, and it's been a couple of months before we could get our schedules together.
I tend to focus on my boys' faults - the ways I wish they were different. I get overly concerned about their ability to focus, listen, and obey all the time. It can really lead to a critical spirit and I'm sure makes me not a lot of fun to live with at times. I think it's because I tend to turn the same magnifying glass on myself, and find many of the same faults. So, what drives me crazy about myself drives me crazier when I see it in them. I don't appreciate enough who they are - the neat gifts God has given them, how much fun they are, how loving and kind. Sometimes I spend too much time worrying about what they do instead.
What about the picnic made me think about these things? This lovely mother has two sons, and they are both autistic, and at different places on the autism spectrum. I can't even imagine how difficult daily life must be for her, much less managing homeschooling and her own needs and those of her husband. They are great kids with sweet spirits. But what I have thought a lot about in the days since our picnic is how positive and accepting she was of those boys. How patient, and kind. She did such a great job of redirecting her sons when they were out of bounds and adapting to their needs. In a couple of hours, she showed me where I fall short. Not intentionally, and I doubt if she even noticed any of the things that impressed me, but they did.
I've wondered what makes us able to extend patience to others, with greater or lesser degrees of success. Really, I think it's about appreciating grace more. It's amazing that God is so accepting of us. He loves us completely no matter how atrocious our behavior (and mine is, sometimes). He forgives us completely when we mess up and ask for another chance (and sometimes I really stink at that). I imagine he'd like me to conform a lot more closely to his standard, but he appreciates and understands that growth is a slow and steady process. I think if I can truly appreciate that grace, maybe I can extend it more freely to others, particularly those who live in this house with me. Maybe it will help me remember my life is not nearly as hard as I sometimes make it out to be.
Maybe it will help me see how full of good things my life really is.
I tend to focus on my boys' faults - the ways I wish they were different. I get overly concerned about their ability to focus, listen, and obey all the time. It can really lead to a critical spirit and I'm sure makes me not a lot of fun to live with at times. I think it's because I tend to turn the same magnifying glass on myself, and find many of the same faults. So, what drives me crazy about myself drives me crazier when I see it in them. I don't appreciate enough who they are - the neat gifts God has given them, how much fun they are, how loving and kind. Sometimes I spend too much time worrying about what they do instead.
What about the picnic made me think about these things? This lovely mother has two sons, and they are both autistic, and at different places on the autism spectrum. I can't even imagine how difficult daily life must be for her, much less managing homeschooling and her own needs and those of her husband. They are great kids with sweet spirits. But what I have thought a lot about in the days since our picnic is how positive and accepting she was of those boys. How patient, and kind. She did such a great job of redirecting her sons when they were out of bounds and adapting to their needs. In a couple of hours, she showed me where I fall short. Not intentionally, and I doubt if she even noticed any of the things that impressed me, but they did.
I've wondered what makes us able to extend patience to others, with greater or lesser degrees of success. Really, I think it's about appreciating grace more. It's amazing that God is so accepting of us. He loves us completely no matter how atrocious our behavior (and mine is, sometimes). He forgives us completely when we mess up and ask for another chance (and sometimes I really stink at that). I imagine he'd like me to conform a lot more closely to his standard, but he appreciates and understands that growth is a slow and steady process. I think if I can truly appreciate that grace, maybe I can extend it more freely to others, particularly those who live in this house with me. Maybe it will help me remember my life is not nearly as hard as I sometimes make it out to be.
Maybe it will help me see how full of good things my life really is.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Looking for a New Job
I am hunting for a new job. Somehow, after ten years away from the full-time workforce, I thought this was going to be easier than it has been. I know that some of my skills are rusty, and that my field tends to be slim in economic hard times, but I just knew it would be different for me. Because I'm delusional like that, I guess. After applying for 30+ jobs, I'm adjusting my expectations. Maybe working at the golden arches is a viable option. The boys would really think it was cool.
However, I did interview for a position this week. It's in training, and I will need to go back and present a sample class - it's really the only way to evaluate how well someone teaches. So, I'm casting about for an appropriate topic, given that I know next to nothing about my audience. If it were you in the audience, would you rather sit through 30-45 minutes on improving your writing, or basic presentation skills, or basic graphic design concepts, or some type of efficiency/time management training? This will be a multimedia extravaganza - PowerPoint is encouraged.
On a related note, the boys are really looking forward to the prospect of being in after-school care. I have let them know that I'm looking for a job, and some ways our life will change when that happens, thinking that this is a big change and I should prepare them for it. However, it really hasn't turned out that they are concerned - more like 'haven't you found a job YET?' Big Boy came downstairs the other morning and his first words of the day were: "So, Mom, what happens if you don't find a job?" Well, nothing, son. Things will stay like they have been. So, why did he look disappointed?
However, I did interview for a position this week. It's in training, and I will need to go back and present a sample class - it's really the only way to evaluate how well someone teaches. So, I'm casting about for an appropriate topic, given that I know next to nothing about my audience. If it were you in the audience, would you rather sit through 30-45 minutes on improving your writing, or basic presentation skills, or basic graphic design concepts, or some type of efficiency/time management training? This will be a multimedia extravaganza - PowerPoint is encouraged.
On a related note, the boys are really looking forward to the prospect of being in after-school care. I have let them know that I'm looking for a job, and some ways our life will change when that happens, thinking that this is a big change and I should prepare them for it. However, it really hasn't turned out that they are concerned - more like 'haven't you found a job YET?' Big Boy came downstairs the other morning and his first words of the day were: "So, Mom, what happens if you don't find a job?" Well, nothing, son. Things will stay like they have been. So, why did he look disappointed?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
School has arrived!
Summer vacation is officially over. And . . . hmm. I thought I'd be glad, but this has felt like a season of endings the last few weeks. I'm looking for a job (and wow, that is much more difficult than I expected, but that's a thought for another day). I haven't held a full-time job in ten years, so this is a real titan of a change for us. This was probably my last summer at home, and I wonder . . . did I enjoy it enough? Did I appreciate the gift of being home with my boys the way I should have?
Big boy will be looking at middle school next year. Little brother will be looking at third grade, and really isn't a little boy any longer. Although he'll always be my baby, he's growing up, and seven is shaping up to be a good year for him.
Maybe I should look at what we accomplished this summer:
* The boys and I spent about three weeks working through age-appropriate Bible studies, which was some precious time learning more about God's word. They loved it, and so did I.
* Little brother really got comfortable with chapter books this summer. We spent lots of quality time with library books and all enjoyed reading.
* I've seen the boys change in their play. They are imagining together now, and it's such a treat to watch them. They have hideouts and are really enjoying one another's company.
* We spent wonderful time with our families this summer, helping them celebrate milestones in their lives. My grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday, and Hawkeye's parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.
* Hawkeye and I celebrated our 15th anniversary with a relaxing, wonderful cruise. I enjoy his company more now than I ever have, and we appreciated the time to enjoy our marriage. Thanks, Mom!
* I learned to can. I've canned salsa, tomato sauce, and today, watermelon rind preserves.
So, maybe this has been a good summer. Busy, but with good things. Fast, but packed with memories to savor. The boys are excited about school, so on with the school year!
Big boy will be looking at middle school next year. Little brother will be looking at third grade, and really isn't a little boy any longer. Although he'll always be my baby, he's growing up, and seven is shaping up to be a good year for him.
Maybe I should look at what we accomplished this summer:
* The boys and I spent about three weeks working through age-appropriate Bible studies, which was some precious time learning more about God's word. They loved it, and so did I.
* Little brother really got comfortable with chapter books this summer. We spent lots of quality time with library books and all enjoyed reading.
* I've seen the boys change in their play. They are imagining together now, and it's such a treat to watch them. They have hideouts and are really enjoying one another's company.
* We spent wonderful time with our families this summer, helping them celebrate milestones in their lives. My grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday, and Hawkeye's parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.
* Hawkeye and I celebrated our 15th anniversary with a relaxing, wonderful cruise. I enjoy his company more now than I ever have, and we appreciated the time to enjoy our marriage. Thanks, Mom!
* I learned to can. I've canned salsa, tomato sauce, and today, watermelon rind preserves.
So, maybe this has been a good summer. Busy, but with good things. Fast, but packed with memories to savor. The boys are excited about school, so on with the school year!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Oh, yes, I did ride that carnival ride
Tuesday night, we went to a county fair. One that operates on a very large scale. It also, coincidentally, requires a capital investment roughly equivalent to our grocery budget for a couple of weeks. Oh, I wish I were kidding.
Little brother was disappointed that he was almost tall enough to ride some of the really cool rides. We did not allow big boy to taunt him, because really, having to be measured and coming up short is enough trauma for one day. We let him play some of the overpriced carnival games instead. He won a small stuffed puppy, so that was some consolation.
What mom liked: the fireworks; the cotton candy; that Hawkeye rode the rides with the boys; the very, very cute little farmer display that involved the children interacting at different stations (station one: acquiring corn and soybeans; station two: planting some of the corn and soybeans, and harvesting plastic produce; so on and so forth, until they sell their products at the farmer's market and spend their loot on an agricultural item - milk, ice cream, animal crackers or an apple). This was a wonderful idea, and was well-executed and fun for all the kids.
What the boys liked: the rides - the end.
What Hawkeye liked: spending time with the boys. When the rides ended. What his stomach did not like: the rides - the end.
So, for the last ride of the night, Hawkeye and big boy were riding something where little brother did not measure up. So, he wants to go back and ride something else. Which they wouldn't let him ride without an adult. Which is how mom ended up riding this carnival ride that literally flung you from one place to another as it revolved. Can I mention that I am almost 37 years old (next week) and am really past enjoying carnival rides? However, I was not willing to disappoint little brother any further, so I got on it. What my stomach, arm, neck, and other parts of my anatomy did not like: the ride. The end.
Little brother was disappointed that he was almost tall enough to ride some of the really cool rides. We did not allow big boy to taunt him, because really, having to be measured and coming up short is enough trauma for one day. We let him play some of the overpriced carnival games instead. He won a small stuffed puppy, so that was some consolation.
What mom liked: the fireworks; the cotton candy; that Hawkeye rode the rides with the boys; the very, very cute little farmer display that involved the children interacting at different stations (station one: acquiring corn and soybeans; station two: planting some of the corn and soybeans, and harvesting plastic produce; so on and so forth, until they sell their products at the farmer's market and spend their loot on an agricultural item - milk, ice cream, animal crackers or an apple). This was a wonderful idea, and was well-executed and fun for all the kids.
What the boys liked: the rides - the end.
What Hawkeye liked: spending time with the boys. When the rides ended. What his stomach did not like: the rides - the end.
So, for the last ride of the night, Hawkeye and big boy were riding something where little brother did not measure up. So, he wants to go back and ride something else. Which they wouldn't let him ride without an adult. Which is how mom ended up riding this carnival ride that literally flung you from one place to another as it revolved. Can I mention that I am almost 37 years old (next week) and am really past enjoying carnival rides? However, I was not willing to disappoint little brother any further, so I got on it. What my stomach, arm, neck, and other parts of my anatomy did not like: the ride. The end.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
What I read on my summer vacation
We spent yesterday afternoon corralling school supplies for each boy, as the first day of school looms large next week. So, in the spirit of back-to-school writing assignments, I thought I'd share this list of some selected summer reading highlights:
A Rush of Wings and Secrets, by Kristen Heitzmann - I had actually read A Rush of Wings before, and forgotten it. These are suspenseful Christian romances. I would put them in the same category with Dee Henderson and Terri Blackstock's writing - a bit better than Blackstock, not quite as good as Henderson. The characters are multi-faceted and feel like real people. The plot is condensed a bit too much in places, but great summer reading. I've put in a wish on PaperBackSwap for the sequel to Secrets, so I liked it enough to want to spend a precious credit on the sequel.
Robin Paige's Victorian/Edwardian mysteries - this is a series of 12 mysteries, beginning with Death at Bishop's Keep and ending with Death on the Lizard. I was looking for a series that I would enjoy as much as Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody Emerson books or Laurie King's Mary Russell Holmes series, and this one has definitely held my interest. The basic premise of the series is to take fictional characters and intersperse them with real historical personages, intertwining a mystery in the process. I've read all but the last one, and they were entertaining and filled with period details.
Tasha Alexander's A Fatal Waltz - third in a series. I enjoyed the first two so much that I ordered the hardcover of this book, which puts her in the Elizabeth Peters category for me. I like the character and the suspenseful plots, and I enjoy novels set in this period - obviously, as I have read a lot of them!
The last is one I'm eagerly awaiting - Elizabeth Peters' new book in the Vicky Bliss series is released in August, and I have it on preorder.
What have you read this summer? Anything less 'fluffy' than my list?
A Rush of Wings and Secrets, by Kristen Heitzmann - I had actually read A Rush of Wings before, and forgotten it. These are suspenseful Christian romances. I would put them in the same category with Dee Henderson and Terri Blackstock's writing - a bit better than Blackstock, not quite as good as Henderson. The characters are multi-faceted and feel like real people. The plot is condensed a bit too much in places, but great summer reading. I've put in a wish on PaperBackSwap for the sequel to Secrets, so I liked it enough to want to spend a precious credit on the sequel.
Robin Paige's Victorian/Edwardian mysteries - this is a series of 12 mysteries, beginning with Death at Bishop's Keep and ending with Death on the Lizard. I was looking for a series that I would enjoy as much as Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody Emerson books or Laurie King's Mary Russell Holmes series, and this one has definitely held my interest. The basic premise of the series is to take fictional characters and intersperse them with real historical personages, intertwining a mystery in the process. I've read all but the last one, and they were entertaining and filled with period details.
Tasha Alexander's A Fatal Waltz - third in a series. I enjoyed the first two so much that I ordered the hardcover of this book, which puts her in the Elizabeth Peters category for me. I like the character and the suspenseful plots, and I enjoy novels set in this period - obviously, as I have read a lot of them!
The last is one I'm eagerly awaiting - Elizabeth Peters' new book in the Vicky Bliss series is released in August, and I have it on preorder.
What have you read this summer? Anything less 'fluffy' than my list?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Small joys for a cloudy day
Sounds to make a mom's heart glad:
--overheard discussions from the boys' room: today this involves each of them constructing and fortifying a base, making lots of noises and sound effects, and working together happily;
--sweet offerings from a son's heart: "Mom, can I help you?" is heard pretty frequently around here lately, and oh, it's a sweet sound indeed;
--giggling. Just giggling over nothing, their usual brand of general silliness, but it makes me happy that their hearts are carefree.
Bright additions to any day:
--two boys happily sharing the tire swing, sitting side by side and swinging lazily;
--hugs. They still hug me freely, without self-consciousness or embarrassment, and I'm so grateful.
--happy faces, grinning completely from ear to ear, smiling at each other, at me, at the world.
Today is a good day.
--overheard discussions from the boys' room: today this involves each of them constructing and fortifying a base, making lots of noises and sound effects, and working together happily;
--sweet offerings from a son's heart: "Mom, can I help you?" is heard pretty frequently around here lately, and oh, it's a sweet sound indeed;
--giggling. Just giggling over nothing, their usual brand of general silliness, but it makes me happy that their hearts are carefree.
Bright additions to any day:
--two boys happily sharing the tire swing, sitting side by side and swinging lazily;
--hugs. They still hug me freely, without self-consciousness or embarrassment, and I'm so grateful.
--happy faces, grinning completely from ear to ear, smiling at each other, at me, at the world.
Today is a good day.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Sounds of Summer
I heard my first cicada of the summer a week ago. It’s such a distinct summer sound, especially since they call in the daytime, usually in the heat of the day. I don't hear them nearly as much in Tennessee as I did growing up in Georgia, so this was a treat.
That sound screams ‘summer’ to me. It is forever wrapped up with long, lazy, hot
Cicadas are for bike-riding days, when we raced up and down the street, putting our feet on the handlebars as we flew down the hill, the wind cooling us when nothing else would. They’re for days of playing on the slip-n-slide until it was a puddle of red mud at the bottom and we all had swimmer’s ear by that evening. Evenings of catching lightning bugs and imprisoning them in a mayonnaise jar with holes poked in the top, just for an excuse to run around in the dark.
The Summer of Extreme Traveling (TM) is now over
. . . . and we are officially tired. I tend to be a terrible traveler, and get cranky and sore, and I'm not sure that I ever want to travel that much, that closely packed together, ever again.
However. I have to say that we had wonderful, sweet visits with family. The kind where everybody is laughing, kidding around, and just enjoying each other's company. The ones that make you wish family vacations or something like them were an option more often, because we love our families a lot, and we just don't see them enough.
The boys had a ball playing with all of their cousins, doing silly kid things that they will remember fondly someday. Things that involved lots of giggling and running around and noise. The kinds of fun things I still remember from my childhood.
There was also some swimming in hotel pools (because as far as they are concerned, that is why we travel), and spending quality time with the travel DVD players. Because when it comes to traveling, I am a wimp, and let them watch more TV in a week's time than they watched in the previous six months. Which might leave them a smidgen, tiny bit, overstimulated and cranky. (Note to self: come up with some better TV rules before the next road trip, which better not be any time soon).
So, summer is now winding down for us. We finish Vacation Bible School tonight, and then there's about two weeks until school starts. What a summer!
However. I have to say that we had wonderful, sweet visits with family. The kind where everybody is laughing, kidding around, and just enjoying each other's company. The ones that make you wish family vacations or something like them were an option more often, because we love our families a lot, and we just don't see them enough.
The boys had a ball playing with all of their cousins, doing silly kid things that they will remember fondly someday. Things that involved lots of giggling and running around and noise. The kinds of fun things I still remember from my childhood.
There was also some swimming in hotel pools (because as far as they are concerned, that is why we travel), and spending quality time with the travel DVD players. Because when it comes to traveling, I am a wimp, and let them watch more TV in a week's time than they watched in the previous six months. Which might leave them a smidgen, tiny bit, overstimulated and cranky. (Note to self: come up with some better TV rules before the next road trip, which better not be any time soon).
So, summer is now winding down for us. We finish Vacation Bible School tonight, and then there's about two weeks until school starts. What a summer!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Ten is uncharted territory here
Oh, the big boy in our house. Ten has already flung down the gauntlet, making it clear that we are in for some massive changes. His body is changing -- not puberty, not yet, God is good -- but how he is put together. He's getting more muscular, heavier, more capable. He brings in groceries now without much trouble (misslisslee hums the Hallelujah chorus). He's developing a sense of humor that is more grown-up (happily bidding good-bye to the knock-knock jokes that make no sense at all).
He's getting glasses today. He's reading big, thick books (he remarked a couple of days ago that 300-400 pages seemed about the ideal book size to him). His little brother is really driving him nuts (isn't that why little brothers exist?), but he's trying to be patient. At least when mom and dad are around.
He's thinking differently. He told me yesterday that, when he and dad were driving to church Sunday morning, they listened to part of a sermon on the radio, and he liked it. It was from the book of Romans and was talking about the law, and he remembered seemingly everything he heard. He seems like a sponge more than ever lately, soaking up everything that comes his way.
So, ten is good. We're going to be wrestling with it a bit, I think, but it's good. I'm so thankful for this boy, who is tiptoeing toward that path that will turn him into a man. I'm so scared that I'm not mothering him like I should, and so grateful for grace. For the Lord who decreed that I am the mother this child needs loves him so much more than I can. He is the God who sees, as he told Hagar, and he sees us today. He knows that I will fall short, and I believe that He will make up the difference.
My job is to keep His word as a lamp for my feet and a light for my path, and hopefully to show ten the path to eleven, and then twelve, and I justcan'tthinkanyfartherthanthatrightnow. And to remind my heart that mothering is a job that changes every day, and eventually involves letting go. So today, I'm picking up that gauntlet and meeting the challenge. Ten, let's see what you've got!
He's getting glasses today. He's reading big, thick books (he remarked a couple of days ago that 300-400 pages seemed about the ideal book size to him). His little brother is really driving him nuts (isn't that why little brothers exist?), but he's trying to be patient. At least when mom and dad are around.
He's thinking differently. He told me yesterday that, when he and dad were driving to church Sunday morning, they listened to part of a sermon on the radio, and he liked it. It was from the book of Romans and was talking about the law, and he remembered seemingly everything he heard. He seems like a sponge more than ever lately, soaking up everything that comes his way.
So, ten is good. We're going to be wrestling with it a bit, I think, but it's good. I'm so thankful for this boy, who is tiptoeing toward that path that will turn him into a man. I'm so scared that I'm not mothering him like I should, and so grateful for grace. For the Lord who decreed that I am the mother this child needs loves him so much more than I can. He is the God who sees, as he told Hagar, and he sees us today. He knows that I will fall short, and I believe that He will make up the difference.
My job is to keep His word as a lamp for my feet and a light for my path, and hopefully to show ten the path to eleven, and then twelve, and I justcan'tthinkanyfartherthanthatrightnow. And to remind my heart that mothering is a job that changes every day, and eventually involves letting go. So today, I'm picking up that gauntlet and meeting the challenge. Ten, let's see what you've got!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Your Regularly Scheduled Blog Post Has Been Interrupted . . .
By The Summer of Extreme TravelingTM. Since last we met, various members of the intrepid Hawkeye family have suffered the indignities of: Cub Scout Day Camp; a 7-day cruise (suffering horribly, as you can imagine); a six-hour layover in Logan airport before a puddle-jumper flight from Boston via Washington, DC to Nashville (why, oh WHY did we not check out what plane was flying this route?); and Scout Camp (involving actual camping in an un-air-conditioned tent). This is just the beginning. We also are making two other trips this summer to see family, and a 16-hour day trip with the church to go and see a museum.
These serious indignities are aggravated by the threatening malady summerus curtailedus, because the kids go back to school on August 8th. Wow, that is only a month away! Mom is also going to be going back to work full-time, so let the changes begin!
These serious indignities are aggravated by the threatening malady summerus curtailedus, because the kids go back to school on August 8th. Wow, that is only a month away! Mom is also going to be going back to work full-time, so let the changes begin!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Where Did May Go?
Which might be a silly question, given that it's already 10 days into June. (Isn't it? I just had to check a calendar to make sure). I feel like I have lost about three weeks somewhere and am running perpetually behind on what I need to get done.
Take last week, for example. It was Cub Scout Day Camp time here in the Peach household. This is our third year for day camp, and I always volunteer. This year, the camp was over 300 boys, and in my position, I see them all at least once during camp, and usually a few times apiece. Additionally, just for kicks, it was much hotter than it normally is the first week of June. Amazingly enough, this didn't bother the boys at all. Just the 'old folks' like me.
I kept thinking, for the last three weeks, that I still had plenty of time to prepare my materials. Until Memorial Day had been and gone, school was out, and my deadline was suddenly a few days away. The blessing is that I've had the same position for two years now, and I could coast a bit.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. In my experience, Scouts are one of the few organizations left that actively teaches noble character traits like cooperation, sportsmanship, responsibility, honesty, and respectfulness in a systematic way, and the success rate is pretty good, all things considered. A great example of that success rate is that there were probably 30-40 Boy Scouts, from 11 to 16 or 17 years old, who volunteered their time all week to help out with these younger boys. Just a great group of boys who, on the whole, were lacking the attitudes that are common at that age and were providing a great example to the younger boys.
Anyway, that's where we've been. This was the big boy's last year at day camp, and he's pretty sad about it. My last year, however, is a few years in the future -- little guy still has three years to go!
Take last week, for example. It was Cub Scout Day Camp time here in the Peach household. This is our third year for day camp, and I always volunteer. This year, the camp was over 300 boys, and in my position, I see them all at least once during camp, and usually a few times apiece. Additionally, just for kicks, it was much hotter than it normally is the first week of June. Amazingly enough, this didn't bother the boys at all. Just the 'old folks' like me.
I kept thinking, for the last three weeks, that I still had plenty of time to prepare my materials. Until Memorial Day had been and gone, school was out, and my deadline was suddenly a few days away. The blessing is that I've had the same position for two years now, and I could coast a bit.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. In my experience, Scouts are one of the few organizations left that actively teaches noble character traits like cooperation, sportsmanship, responsibility, honesty, and respectfulness in a systematic way, and the success rate is pretty good, all things considered. A great example of that success rate is that there were probably 30-40 Boy Scouts, from 11 to 16 or 17 years old, who volunteered their time all week to help out with these younger boys. Just a great group of boys who, on the whole, were lacking the attitudes that are common at that age and were providing a great example to the younger boys.
Anyway, that's where we've been. This was the big boy's last year at day camp, and he's pretty sad about it. My last year, however, is a few years in the future -- little guy still has three years to go!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Unintentional Humor, Courtesy of the Big Boy
I had a lovely Mother's Day. Complete with presents, a custom-grilled lunch by Chef Hawkeye, and lots of love from my boys.
My favorite present? A book that Big Boy made at school. He didn't mean it to be funny. But oh, it is.
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Mom, by Big Boy
#1: Well, you're my mom! (translated: doesn't that mean I HAVE to love you?)
#2: Because you're preety (hee, hee!)
#3: You cook DELICIOUS meals (translated: hey, we gave you a new stockpot, can you finally make me some homemade chicken noodle soup?)
#4: You take me on trips
#5: You love me (this made me think of the Barney song)
#6: You get me presents
#7: You buy me books
#8: You buy me toys (perhaps he's a bit materialistic?)
#9: You don't homeschool me (this one really cracked me up, and he totally didn't get why. He's quite serious, and all I'm thinking is that he's thanking me for not cooping him up in the house with me all day. I have no idea where this came from -- I have two dear friends who homeschool, and it's not like we've ever discussed it. Oh, the workings of that boy's mind!)
#10: You are the best mommy you can be (or, you can't help it that you can't do any better, you're just doing your best with what you have, poor thing)
Ya'll. So funny. The last ten years have been lots of growing and stretching and worrying and praying and changing, but so fun. These boys of mine amaze me every day!
My favorite present? A book that Big Boy made at school. He didn't mean it to be funny. But oh, it is.
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Mom, by Big Boy
#1: Well, you're my mom! (translated: doesn't that mean I HAVE to love you?)
#2: Because you're preety (hee, hee!)
#3: You cook DELICIOUS meals (translated: hey, we gave you a new stockpot, can you finally make me some homemade chicken noodle soup?)
#4: You take me on trips
#5: You love me (this made me think of the Barney song)
#6: You get me presents
#7: You buy me books
#8: You buy me toys (perhaps he's a bit materialistic?)
#9: You don't homeschool me (this one really cracked me up, and he totally didn't get why. He's quite serious, and all I'm thinking is that he's thanking me for not cooping him up in the house with me all day. I have no idea where this came from -- I have two dear friends who homeschool, and it's not like we've ever discussed it. Oh, the workings of that boy's mind!)
#10: You are the best mommy you can be (or, you can't help it that you can't do any better, you're just doing your best with what you have, poor thing)
Ya'll. So funny. The last ten years have been lots of growing and stretching and worrying and praying and changing, but so fun. These boys of mine amaze me every day!
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