I think I'm getting too old for studying

Is there a time limit on brain capacity? Seriously? I'm taking my first standardized teaching test on Saturday, and it's amazing how hard it is anymore to stuff new information into my brain. I believe it's due to an overabundance of song lyrics and other worthless trivia accumulated in my misspent youth. No, really - I'm a great team member for trivial pursuit, but maybe not so much if you want someone to remember educational theory.

Merry Christmas to all!

Oh Rest Ye Weary Mommies, Let Nothing You Dismay,
It isn't long before it will be dawn on Christmas Day,
So finish all your Christmas cards,
Lest they should go astray,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time,
Presents and Time,
Oh, Tidings of Presents and Time.

God Rest Ye Merry Daddies, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember all those toys must be together by Christmas Day,
To save us all from crying boys,
Lest the instructions lead us astray,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools,
Nuts, Bolts and Tools,
Oh, Tidings of Nuts and Bolts and Tools.

God Rest Ye Merry Families, Let Nothing You Dismay,
Remember in spite of all the parties, pageants and holiday
Goodies and presents,
It's not about the 'perfect holiday',
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all,
born for all,
Oh, Tidings of a Savior born for all.


In hopes that all families have time to reflect on the true meaning of the season and that night in Bethlehem when angels, shepherds and a new family worshipped God's son, Merry Christas!

Has It Been a Month? Really?

The job is great. Challenging, but pretty undemanding in terms of deadlines, overtime and such. The schedule, however, is taking some heavy adjustment. I'm getting up at 5:30 every morning, otherwise referred to around our house as dark-thirty, because really? I'm so not a morning person. I have always thought that a 3-11 shift would be about right for me. When I was a teenager, I used to be merciless in making fun of my mom because she was ready for bed every night around 8:30. Now? That is so me. However, the after school care has worked out in a way that's a real blessing, the Hawkeye and I have been able to work out a schedule that has the boys leaving about 7 and getting home about 5, and otherwise the whole thing has been pretty painless. We have our first real test tomorrow - Little Brother has the makings of strep and a 102 degree temperature, and Hawkeye will be taking his first sick day for one of the boys and making his first sick appointment with the pediatrician ever in the morning. I think it's good for him! I do, however, hope Little Brother feels better soon. He is the most pitiful sick kid you ever saw.

The Job Is Secure. The Employee, However, Is Not.

You might have guessed from the title that I have found a job. Apparently, however, this is a new excuse for internal hand-wringing about how I'm going to manage household stuff, how the boys are going to handle the change, and what time I'll need to get up in the morning. I start the new job this week, and already the inner control freak that jumps in with both feet whenever I feel insecure is practically doing trampoline tricks. The boys are excited. The Hawkeye is excited. I am, too - but ten years without full-time employment is a long time, and I'm unsure. So, today, I am looking for serenity. Hopefully, I'll find it before I break an arm on the trampoline! ;-)

Feeling Thankful and Thoughtful

The boys and I had a picnic this week with another lovely family, a mom with two boys (unrelated note to our school system: the early dismissal days in the middle of the week are the dumbest of a long line of dumb ideas that anyone has ever generated. End of rant). The mom helped with Big Boy's den during day camp, and her son and Big Boy really enjoyed each other's company. This other family homeschools, and it's been a couple of months before we could get our schedules together.

I tend to focus on my boys' faults - the ways I wish they were different. I get overly concerned about their ability to focus, listen, and obey all the time. It can really lead to a critical spirit and I'm sure makes me not a lot of fun to live with at times. I think it's because I tend to turn the same magnifying glass on myself, and find many of the same faults. So, what drives me crazy about myself drives me crazier when I see it in them. I don't appreciate enough who they are - the neat gifts God has given them, how much fun they are, how loving and kind. Sometimes I spend too much time worrying about what they do instead.

What about the picnic made me think about these things? This lovely mother has two sons, and they are both autistic, and at different places on the autism spectrum. I can't even imagine how difficult daily life must be for her, much less managing homeschooling and her own needs and those of her husband. They are great kids with sweet spirits. But what I have thought a lot about in the days since our picnic is how positive and accepting she was of those boys. How patient, and kind. She did such a great job of redirecting her sons when they were out of bounds and adapting to their needs. In a couple of hours, she showed me where I fall short. Not intentionally, and I doubt if she even noticed any of the things that impressed me, but they did.

I've wondered what makes us able to extend patience to others, with greater or lesser degrees of success. Really, I think it's about appreciating grace more. It's amazing that God is so accepting of us. He loves us completely no matter how atrocious our behavior (and mine is, sometimes). He forgives us completely when we mess up and ask for another chance (and sometimes I really stink at that). I imagine he'd like me to conform a lot more closely to his standard, but he appreciates and understands that growth is a slow and steady process. I think if I can truly appreciate that grace, maybe I can extend it more freely to others, particularly those who live in this house with me. Maybe it will help me remember my life is not nearly as hard as I sometimes make it out to be.

Maybe it will help me see how full of good things my life really is.

Looking for a New Job

I am hunting for a new job. Somehow, after ten years away from the full-time workforce, I thought this was going to be easier than it has been. I know that some of my skills are rusty, and that my field tends to be slim in economic hard times, but I just knew it would be different for me. Because I'm delusional like that, I guess. After applying for 30+ jobs, I'm adjusting my expectations. Maybe working at the golden arches is a viable option. The boys would really think it was cool.

However, I did interview for a position this week. It's in training, and I will need to go back and present a sample class - it's really the only way to evaluate how well someone teaches. So, I'm casting about for an appropriate topic, given that I know next to nothing about my audience. If it were you in the audience, would you rather sit through 30-45 minutes on improving your writing, or basic presentation skills, or basic graphic design concepts, or some type of efficiency/time management training? This will be a multimedia extravaganza - PowerPoint is encouraged.

On a related note, the boys are really looking forward to the prospect of being in after-school care. I have let them know that I'm looking for a job, and some ways our life will change when that happens, thinking that this is a big change and I should prepare them for it. However, it really hasn't turned out that they are concerned - more like 'haven't you found a job YET?' Big Boy came downstairs the other morning and his first words of the day were: "So, Mom, what happens if you don't find a job?" Well, nothing, son. Things will stay like they have been. So, why did he look disappointed?

School has arrived!

Summer vacation is officially over. And . . . hmm. I thought I'd be glad, but this has felt like a season of endings the last few weeks. I'm looking for a job (and wow, that is much more difficult than I expected, but that's a thought for another day). I haven't held a full-time job in ten years, so this is a real titan of a change for us. This was probably my last summer at home, and I wonder . . . did I enjoy it enough? Did I appreciate the gift of being home with my boys the way I should have?

Big boy will be looking at middle school next year. Little brother will be looking at third grade, and really isn't a little boy any longer. Although he'll always be my baby, he's growing up, and seven is shaping up to be a good year for him.

Maybe I should look at what we accomplished this summer:

* The boys and I spent about three weeks working through age-appropriate Bible studies, which was some precious time learning more about God's word. They loved it, and so did I.

* Little brother really got comfortable with chapter books this summer. We spent lots of quality time with library books and all enjoyed reading.

* I've seen the boys change in their play. They are imagining together now, and it's such a treat to watch them. They have hideouts and are really enjoying one another's company.

* We spent wonderful time with our families this summer, helping them celebrate milestones in their lives. My grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday, and Hawkeye's parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

* Hawkeye and I celebrated our 15th anniversary with a relaxing, wonderful cruise. I enjoy his company more now than I ever have, and we appreciated the time to enjoy our marriage. Thanks, Mom!

* I learned to can. I've canned salsa, tomato sauce, and today, watermelon rind preserves.

So, maybe this has been a good summer. Busy, but with good things. Fast, but packed with memories to savor. The boys are excited about school, so on with the school year!