When did Shoney's decide I'm in their target demographic?

I have a couple of friends who like to go out for breakfast. So, we're not ladies who lunch, we're ladies who breakfast. Perhaps that says something about us. Something like, we're cheap and easily distracted. Oooh, look at that shiny thing over there! What was I saying??

Actually, I don't even care for breakfast (just give me a cup or three of coffee and nobody will get hurt), but I am a friendly sort (or really I'll just jump at any chance to get out of the house), and so I go along. Last week, we went to Shoney's for the breakfast bar. It's probably an undeserved reputation, but Shoney's, to me, is redneck-o-rama. Right up there with the Awful Waffle in my view. Particularly in the morning on a weekday -- when most people who are not self-employed are already at work. However, again with the getting out of the house - at this point, beggars can't be choosy.

So, we're sitting there, having our typical mom conversation about our kids, the school, how different our older kids are from the younger ones, (I know, if you're not a mom -- major snooze factor, here) and I keep getting distracted by the music. It's like the 80s festival all up in there - I heard Paula Abdul/Forever Your Girl, Paco/Puttin' On the Ritz, and something by The Outfield. At one point, we commented that the only thing was missing was Michael Jackson (at which point we all made the skeeve face). So, what do you think was played within the next 10 minutes?

Now, I have a Theory. If I am in a store and they are playing songs from my teenage years (yes, I did grow up in the 80s, thank you very much), I figure they're pretty obviously targeting my age group, in the hope that as I'm bouncing along, happily reminiscing, I am filling up my buggy without noticing. I have noticed this phenomenon in both Wal-Mart and Michaels. That did not, however, bother me, because when I looked around, many of the other shoppers, were in fact, noticeably close to my age. However, if Shoney's is looking for my age group, and when I look around, I don't really see anyone who I think resembles me in age or situation, what does that say about me? Perhaps, you might be a redneck, if????????

Frugality is a Learned Behavior

We try to live frugally here in the Volunteer household. My mother raised my brother and I on very little money (she really had a way with hamburger and hot dogs, let me tell you), and I picked up many frugal habits without realizing it. I'm endlessly thankful for those now, being in my later 30s and having had so many friends over the years who were not raised that way and for whom a frugal lifestyle feels restrictive and miserable.

Here are some of my family habits that are ingrained (and for which I am massively thankful):

-- turning off the lights when you leave a room;
-- keeping leftovers for another meal or for lunches (freezing if necessary);
-- buying good deals in bulk and keeping a stocked pantry (which has been a real blessing time after time for us);
-- shopping places that require a little more work, like overstock/closeout stores, salvage stores, Aldi, etc. to save money;
-- shopping end-of-season clearance (the Hawkeye has often threatened to buy me a clearance rack for my birthday);
-- frugal meals like dried beans and cornbread, vegetable soup, tuna fish salad and meat stretchers (like meatloaf);
-- doing it yourself whenever possible (like painting, wallpapering, fixtures, etc.);
-- buying used over new when we can (cars, lawnmowers, even clothing through consignment/thrift where possible).

I have had lots of friends who don't understand the value of shopping with a list or planning meals ahead of time (groceries are one of those areas the Volunteer budget can get quickly out of control) to save money. Right now my chest freezer (which is a must-have frugality tool for us) contains a lasagna, a chicken casserole, a pumpkin pie, extra sugar and flour bought on sale, extra loaves of bread to last us until my next planned trip to the store, frozen vegetables, meats and a few convenience items like chicken nuggets and frozen pizza to keep us out of the fast-food lane when there truly isn't time.

I have been married almost fifteen years and it took me until the past year or two to really figure out that it's just as easy to make two lasagnas, casseroles, pies, quick breads, etc. as one, and then I have extra on hand! This also makes it easy to take someone a meal when they need one (can you tell I'm from the South? We're Southern Baptists -- it's all about the food, people!)

We are not anyone's poster people for frugality, but these things are painless penny-pinching for me, because it was part of my raising. Thanks, Mom.

Veggies, Marketing, and Unexpected Insight

Although my older son is a bit old for them now, we went to see the new Veggie Tales movie yesterday. Older son actually has never been a huge Veggie fan, but indulges me (especially since we only go to the movies once a year or less). My younger son always enjoys the funny songs and action, action, action! (Having boys is so much fun, ya'll. Except when they've been cooped up too long and all that energy goes toward picking on one another.)

The movie was really cute and entertaining, although the songs did feel a bit grafted on to the story. I have to say, however, that movie previews have become significantly longer in the last few years. And why do movies rated G have previews for movies that are not rated G? There were fully 20 minutes' worth of previews before the movie started, and is it just me, or are they exponentially louder than the movie itself? (can you tell we don't get out much?)

Elder son actually got the allegory behind the story. When I asked them who the king was meant to represent, I wasn't expecting them to have the answer. I was really just making conversation, as we were sitting in a parking lot waiting for the next item on our busy social calendar to begin. He really surprised me by getting a lot of the symbolism in the movie. Oh, this former English teacher's heart grew three sizes that day. Or something like that.

How do I explain the heartbreak for the little boys?

Of going to bed with snow on the ground, more snow coming down and sure of a snow day . . . .

---and waking up with the snow almost gone and having to go to school? That's just wrong!

I have two very sad little boys that I just dropped off at school.

It started snowing yesterday about dusk. It didn't really stick on the roads, just the grass, but it was coming down pretty hard, for Tennessee. We went on to church (because the Hawkeye fears no frozen precipitation, people), and when we came out there was probably an inch or so on the grass and the parking lot and steps were a little slushy. So, after a snowball fight with our good friends and a couple of the youth (the boys were so enthusiastic in throwing snowballs that they both cried all the way home about how their hands were hurting as they warmed up), we headed home and put them to bed, almost completely sure there was going to be a snow day.

And then, shortly before the Hawkeye and I went to bed, it changed to rain. Steady rain. Snow-eating rain. So, this morning we just have little bits of snow left to mock the little boys, and they had to go to school.

Disappointment lives in middle Tennessee today.

On Obedience

It struck me this morning, as I was explaining to my six-year-old that obey means do what you're told, when you're told to do it yet again, that sometimes I give God the same excuses my son gives to me. Such as:

--I didn't hear you. Oh, were you talking to me? I thought that was merely one of those stray thoughts that I could feel free to ignore. Because it didn't seem like something I would want to do.

--I forgot. Oh, that deny yourself and take up your cross thing? Well, I didn't think about that today. I was too busy.

--I thought you meant my brother. You know, the one who is more gifted and talented than me. Or just older and more experienced. Or more energetic. Or less busy.

Wow. That's some serious opportunity for improving my discipline staring me in the face. I wonder if I disappoint and frustrate God as often as my boys disappoint and frustrate me by not obeying? And if part of this parenthood journey is meant to open my eyes to where God is wanting to work on me? Thank you, Lord, that Your mercy is new every morning. May I do a better job of showing your mercy to those you have entrusted to my care.

Maybe no isn't a bad word, after all

I just read this post and I find that I have the same problem. My extended family, folks at the school, and sometimes even my husband all think that since I am a stay-at-home mom and my kids are in school all day, I must have massive amounts of free time just waiting for them to lay claim to it. And I feel guilty that I'm not the world's best at time management, so I think:

1) I should be able to do that . . . . and say yes. Or
2) If I don't do it, who will? . . . . and say yes. Or
3) that won't take much time . . . . and say yes. Or
4) the boys will be really happy if I do that . . . and say yes. Or
5) I don't want to admit that I don't really have time for that . . .. and say yes.

In reality, what often happens is . . .

1) I can do that . . . but it is a massive, detail-oriented, painstaking job, and those three things make me a nervous, irritable, procrastinating wreck. Really.

2) I was not the first on the list, just the first sucker to say yes to it. And it's a job that will be mine forever now.

3) Actually, it takes a lot of time and is a drawn-out project. (I am notorious for thinking I'm going to accomplish 15 things in the time it really takes to do 2 of them. Quite a recipe for frustration.)

4) The boys couldn't care less. My oldest thinks he has been seriously deprived because he's never been in day care, so I'm thinking that he's not really good at seeing the whole picture. This reality is the reason I've really quit stressing over scrapbooking. They're boys, they are not going to want to keep 20 scrapbooks when they're adults (and at the rate I was going, that was going to be a conservative estimate!)

5) I do it, but with a poor attitude and grumping and grumbling the whole time. It makes me unpleasant to those around me and I have to seek forgiveness.

So, I'm going to pray more and longer and be slower to answer. I'm already managing my household (not well, either), facilitating 2 Bible studies (soon to be 3) and trying to run a Cub Scout pack, and that's all, folks.

So thanks, Queen B, for inspiring me to think about this topic. I want to be a woman whose priorities are in the right place: God first, my husband and kids, then those things that can be added to that list where there is time and God's blessing. I don't ever want to think I have wasted my time and talents by using them somewhere God didn't intend.

If anyone tells you propane heat is efficient, or inexpensive

....laugh maniacally, then run as fast as you can the other way. Because they are infected with the crazy.

When we bought this house a couple of years ago (not a McMansion, it's under 2000 square feet), it was a couple of years old, and has a propane furnace and hot water heater. We're out in the country- five miles from a town with one red light. That scene from The Notebook where they are lying underneath the red light could have happened here. Therefore, natural gas isn't available. So, we filled the tank in September and then the truck showed up just after the first of the year. The total was over $800. To fill the tank only 80 percent full. And we keep our house so cool that my mom asked if we didn't heat it during the day -- the thermostat is set at 64 during the day and 60 at night.

We just finished Little Town on the Prairie as our book we read to the boys at night (we take turns picking a book, then read 1-2 chapters at night after our devotion). I have been picking the Little House books, as I have boys, and they won't read them otherwise, although they are really enjoying them. The scene where they woke up with a foot of snow on their beds really convinced me what a wimp I am. I don't know how they did it all without collapsing from exhaustion!

So, there may be a heat pump in our future. Which always reminds me of this Georgia Power commercial when I was a teenager -- old ladies sitting around a bridge table talking about a dinosawwr of an air conditioner. Those old ladies all sounded like my Meme or my Aunt Edna. And yes, we need one of those. Heat pumps, that is -- not old ladies playing bridge.

Learning from David's life

I'm working through A Heart Like His by Beth Moore with a young single mom at my church, and I am amazed at how much is packed into David's life. I'm always so appreciative that when God inspired scripture, He included people with their warts and all. It means so much to me that even when David messed up (and he did, and I do), God worked to reconcile David to Himself, because that gives me hope. Once David had repented of his sin, even though he had to live with the consequences, God forgave him and still used his life for God's purposes and promised such beautiful things to him. When I think of all the messed-up decisions and actions and thoughts I have made over the years, I am amazed at God's grace. I should be useless for the Kingdom, yet God still wants to use me. I should be cast aside for losing so many opportunities to testify for Him, yet God still gives me new opportunities, including two little boys who need to see Christ in me. There's only one perfect man in the Bible, and he is also God. I'm so thankful today that Jesus, the perfect God-man, chose to give up His life that I might live eternally.

One of my favorite praise songs comes from Paul's writings, and I love the recording by Phillips, Craig and Dean. I can really shatter some glass with "For I am crucified with Christ, and yet I live! Not I, but Christ who lives within me. His cross will never ask for more than I can give, for it's not my strength but His. There's no greater sacrifice, for I am crucified with Christ, and yet I live!"

Now that's a happy Friday thought.

My favorite frugal place for books

I have been a member of www.paperbackswap.com for two years now. The way it works is really pretty simple: when you sign up, you post 9 books you are willing to swap, and get 2 free credits. You can use those credits right away to request a book from someone else. When someone requests one of your books, you access a .pdf file with a predesigned wrapper, print it and wrap up your book for mailing. You then mail it at first-class or media mail rate, whichever is cheaper. When the requestor receives your book, you get a credit to request one for yourself.

I have found some great new authors through their recommendations feature, and I have completed some collections of my favorite authors (most notably Elizabeth Peters ). You can post or request hardbound editions, if that's your preference.

I've posted thrifted or yard-saled books, and for approximately $2.50 I have requested a hardbound or popular book I've been dying to read. If a copy of the book you want isn't available, you can add it to your wish list, and the system will notify you when someone posts it.

Can you tell I'm really enthusiastic about this site? I still can't pass a bookstore without going in to check it out, but I sure don't spend much anymore, when this is an option for me!

Going to the Dentist is Fun! (Really?)

The older son (almost in double digits) has some seriously messed-up teeth. Like, we had our first taste of orthodontia at four years old messed up teeth. So, at nine years old, he's already had one of those expander contraptions and what is called Phase I of braces (basically, an Inspired Scheme to Sucker More Money Out of Us by stretching this out as long as possible). I had braces twenty years ago, but apparently the thinking nowadays (you know, since we're no longer in the Dark Ages) is to put them on when the kids are younger.

Not that this has been a problem for him. When the dentist's office is essentially a video arcade / television fun time with a brief intermission for someone to mess with your mouth, what's not to like?

However, all of this means my nine-year-old son has a retainer. Now, if you have never been to the Land of the Nine-Year-Old Boy, you have no idea of the level of crazy thinking and unexplainable behavior it contains. Just for example, this boy can't get the thought out of his head that mom is responsible for this appliance that spends most of its lifespan in his mouth. Hmmm, really? So, the result of our residence in this land is that he has lost one set of retainers and then broken the replacement, all in less than six months' time. The six-eight permanent teeth he has in his mouth are lovely and straight and all, but dude, I'm not sure this is really worth it. Keeping up with his backpack is about as much responsibility as this kid can handle, really. And some days he doesn't even do that too well.

So, the long and the short of this situation is my need to decide where we're going from here. Do we replace the retainer yet again? Do we accept that the six-eight permanent teeth might become less straight before Phase II of the bloodletting, a.k.a. paying for more braces, begins, and just ditch the retainer? Because mom is really over all this, let me tell you. Especially when I talked with the orthodontist about this yesterday, and her response was to remind me that it is really likely that, even with the retainer, his teeth won't remain straight and lovely as more permanent teeth begin coming in. Really? So Phase I of the blood, sweat and tears (and money - we're a one-income household, people) was for what, then?

In other news, second son is six, and those first permanent teeth in the front aren't looking too good. Maybe we should put him to work now.

Why yes, I am a Southerner, thank you . . .

It's a funny thing, being married to a guy from the Midwest (which is what my grandmother told everyone at my wedding . . . no, I didn't just marry a Yankee, I married a midwesterner). He still occasionally calls our couch a davenport and a gutter an eavestrough (?what?), but I sure love it when we have a bit of snow on the ground and he will do the driving. I grew up in a place where people clean out the bread and milk any time the weather forecast even mentions the 'S' word, and black ice is one of the most feared (and pretty much phantom) road conditions. So, it is really comforting to know I don't have to drive in the stuff. It makes me a nervous wreck. Not that I don't enjoy the snow -- we lived on a street with a steep hill growing up, and at least every other year would get a good snowstorm with a layer of ice underneath. Then we all loved the neighbor with a real sled (my husband says they're called toboggans). The more kids we got on that thing, the faster it would go, and that was all kinds of awesome. Along with the bread sacks on our feet to keep them dry (because who would spend money on real snowboots in Atlanta, people?)

However, I'm still all Southerner. We had three days in December where I could open the windows (horrible allergies + endless pollen season = that never happens), and there has already been a January day where lots of people around here were wearing shorts. Just seeing real snow never ceases to amaze me - the first time we went to visit my Hawkeye's family in the winter, I was stunned to see an entire river frozen. And his stories about growing up sound like something Norman Rockwell would have painted (building a bonfire next to the river and ice skating, anyone?)


My two boys, however, have never been able to ride a sled. And the oldest is almost 10! So, I'm (quietly) asking for a good snowfall or two this winter. My friends who grew up in this part of Tennessee say it's a possibility. So, cross your fingers for me!